E22 - Your Body, Your Rules: Choosing Your Goal Weight

Welcome to the Mindful Balance Mini Podcast.

If you are a woman over 40 ready to break free from fad diets and discover the power of balance and confidence in your life,

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I'm your host. I'm Rachel, a nutrition and mindset coach,

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Hey, and welcome back to the podcast.

Today, it is episode 22, and it is going to be the step-by-step to choosing your goal weight.

But before we start, just a quick personal message, if you will.

We have entered the last few weeks of the year, which is always a good time for reflection.

The past year for me personally had a bunch of obstacles and giant setbacks that I really couldn't even predict.

I noticed that when I feel this way, it is so easy to fall into self-pity and blaming the circumstances

for all the things that didn't work or didn't exactly go as I had expected.

Would I have liked to see more success in different areas of life?

Yes, for sure.

But I also know that this victim party is not going to be helpful.

I see many people on social media recently really romanticizing their success with huge achievements.

So, it is important for me to tell you that if you are someone who is in the same boat

or feeling that it was just a meh year, you are not alone.

There is an expectation to always be happy and joyful and successful, etc.

When in reality, most of the time, life is just life and that's normal.

We can create our results only if we keep going and not giving up on our dreams.

And I know that maybe this is not the most cheerful introduction to this episode,

but it is honest and it is raw and it is the truth.

And today's topic is actually super connected to my little TED Talk.

As we approach the new year, it's natural for many of us to start thinking about setting new goals.

And yes, for many women, these goals often involve our bodies and our health and our eating habits.

So, I also wanted to take a moment to address this because it's important that you hear this.

Let me say it loud and clear. It is absolutely okay to set goals for your body.

In a world where voices around us everywhere may sometimes label such aspirations as shallow or unnecessary,

I really want to tell you that your desires and goals, whatever they are, are valid.

Your body is yours and wanting to change, improve, or simply take better care of it is a personal choice that deserves respect.

All judgment here has to go.

And that isn't to say that your body isn't perfect or that it needs to look a certain way,

but at the same time, you get to choose how you want to feel.

And anyone out there who dismisses that isn't being too respectful.

And I would not be around people like that because respecting women is also respecting their choices,

even if it doesn't fit a certain liberal narrative.

There isn't one narrative that fits everyone and it's okay to choose the goals that are right for you.

And if your goal is to lose weight, it is valid and there is nothing wrong with that and you do not need to apologize for it.

However, and I will say this, while setting these goals, it's crucial to approach them in a way that is helpful and healthy.

This means setting goals that enhance your well-being and not distract from it.

It means creating objectives that bring you joy and bring you energy and a sense of fulfillment.

Your goals should be about celebrating what your body can do, not just about how it looks.

And when you hit a challenge, because challenge is part of the plan,

don't use it against yourself, like pulling almost a small judge out of your pocket

that starts calling you names like weak, ugly, or any other negative self-talk of your choice.

Working on weight loss isn't about fixing something that's wrong or broken.

It's really about nurturing and caring for yourself,

whether it's aiming for more strength or better flexibility, or just even feeling more confidence,

having clothes that fit better, right?

Your goals should come from a place of wanting the best for yourself, whatever it means for you.

And now that we cleared this one also out of the way, let's move on and let's get into it.

So we will do that by addressing the elephant in the room, which is unrealistic weight goals.

This looks like you, for example, looking back at old photos, maybe from high school,

and thinking, "If only I could be that skinny again, wouldn't that be wonderful?"

If you pause for a second and reflect, you will realize that your high school self

was at a completely different life stage. Our bodies, our lifestyle, our responsibilities have evolved,

and trying to rewind the clock back to high school, let's say, ignores the now and here.

So if your goal weight is based on a time in your life when you were in your smallest body,

this is as red flag as can be.

Next, there is the trap of aiming to be as small as possible.

This goal, often influenced by our culture, overlooks a crucial aspect.

Being small doesn't equate to being healthy.

Each body has its unique set of needs and balances,

and what's healthy for one person might not be for another.

So be very careful with setting a goal that is a result of other women on social media, for example,

or thinking that you should be a certain size in order to feel good and confident.

Another example is setting a goal based on the size pants that you want to wear.

If this is you, I want to encourage you to go deeper and find a "why" that is more meaningful to you

than a random number on the inside of your jeans.

These numbers don't mean anything. I'm going to say it again.

These numbers don't mean anything.

They are not consistent and they are not a real indicator of how you're doing about your progress or your worth.

A few months ago, I went shopping with my 15-year-old daughter.

I know it sounds, or maybe it sounds fun, but if you know any teenage girl,

you know that it can mean practically and literally hours in one store.

So while I was waiting, I tried a new pair of jeans that I just saw there.

It looked nice, and it was the type of jeans that has like the holes on the knees,

and I would even dare and go as far as saying that it was a really, really cool pair of jeans.

Well, I had to go and try it, and I realized that I had to go up by two jeans sizes.

Now, I wasn't happy about that, and I noticed how quickly my brain was starting to go down the path of,

"This is bad. Something is bad."

But I was luckily able to stop the train wreck and remind myself that it really means nothing.

I did not gain weight overnight, and really, who cares what the number on the jeans is?

Now, imagine setting a goal to fit into a size 8 and only then realizing that you can only fit into a size 12.

This is something that can literally stop you from making progress

if you let your brain convince you that something has gone wrong,

which is why I want you to stay away from setting any goal that includes pant size or anything in that neighborhood.

Okay, moving on.

Now that we talked about unhelpful goals, I want to mention our body's natural response to weight change

and why it is so essential to understand how weight loss works.

You see, our bodies are incredibly smart and very, very protective of us as humans.

When we try to make drastic changes, especially rapid weight loss,

our bodies can sometimes perceive this as a threat, something wrong, something is not as it should be.

Your body doesn't know that you are just, let's say, trying to fit into that dress or that you want to look a certain way.

It is just going to do its job and do everything to keep you alive and well.

This protective mechanism is why so many of us experience, let's say, a plateau

or find it challenging to maintain rapid weight loss.

Our body, in its wisdom, will do all sorts of things to stop you from starving yourself.

It will, for example, slow down your metabolism.

It will conserve energy.

It will hold on to fat.

It will make you feel hungry all the time.

And it will suppress your sense of fullness

and literally will do whatever it can to keep its resources.

This is a survival instinct and it is ingrained in our biology.

When you understand that this resistance isn't about feeling defeated or weak,

you can really start working with your body instead of working against it.

When we aim for gradual, sustainable weight loss, which is what I always advocate for,

we are communicating with our body that there is no emergency.

Nothing is wrong. Food is abundant.

And it is important that you communicate this message,

almost like with a baby, that we are taking care of it, that we are nourishing it,

and that all is good. We are not trying to starve.

This approach tells your body, "Hey, you do not need to go into that protective mode.

I am taking care of you," which then really makes your weight loss journey that much easier.

So how do you do that? And I'm going to give you three questions to ask yourself

if you're trying to determine what is your realistic and attainable goal.

And I am saying your goal because your goal may not and will not look like your best friend

or even your mom or your sister. We're all different, and your realistic, attainable goal

will not be the same. All right. So question number one.

What is a comfortable range you have had in the last five years that felt easy to maintain?

I want you to think about a time in the past five years when you felt good in your skin,

when you had energy and you felt healthy and were possibly more in tune with your own body.

And this reflection will help you understand what a healthy and comfortable state means for you right now.

The second question I want you to ask is, what weight allows me to live my life fully?

This means being able to engage in your favorite activities, whether it is hiking or dancing

or playing with your kids without feeling strained or excessively tired.

This exploration will give you so much information about what it is that you really are after.

Usually, it is not about being a certain number like 140 or 160 or 180 or any other random number.

It is more about what this number will allow you to do.

So I really want you to tap into that when you're trying to determine what is the right goal weight for you.

And the last question is, and this might be the most important question,

what weight can you maintain without resorting to extreme diets or crazy exercise routines?

You do not want to be constantly in this war with food.

A weight that you can sustain is one that allows you to enjoy life.

Yes, even with eating a slice of birthday cake at someone's party.

By definition, I would say that your healthy weight should be the weight that allows you to feel good

while being the least restrictive with eating.

And I was thinking about it because in medicine, there is the principle of the least intervention,

which suggests that the best treatment is often the one that intervenes the least with the body's natural processes.

I am sure that you are familiar with the idea that most doctors aim to provide the most effective treatment

that causes the least disruption to the body.

For example, if a mild condition can be treated with lifestyle changes rather than medication,

that's often the preferred approach.

And that makes total sense.

Similarly, when setting a goal weight, think of it as the "treatment" for your body

that is the least disruptive and most sustainable.

This means choosing a weight that you can maintain without extreme diet, without rigorous exercises.

It's about finding a balance where your body feels good and you can still enjoy life's pleasures

without constantly restricting or struggling.

A sustainable goal weight is about maintaining a balance where your body feels healthy,

both physically, but also mentally and emotionally.

And you are still able to enjoy the things that make life joyful and worth it.

So to wrap it up, I want you to remember, this is such an important thing for you to know,

that the goal that you set is the starting point of a journey that can be fulfilling and life-changing

if approached with care and understanding.

The goal that you set will determine how you get there and how you will feel about your progress.

Whatever the goal that you have for yourself in 2024, I am going to tell you something

that most coaches, nutritionists, personal trainers, and even medical professionals

won't tell you because it's not what you want to hear.

And that is that change takes time and it takes effort and it takes patience.

But so what?

If you're like me, you have spent likely way too many days, weeks, months, and years

trying to figure it out without knowing that half the problem was setting the wrong goal.

So let it take time. Let it be slow.

Slow is good because it means that you won't feel like you are in a war

and you will never have to do it again because you will have so much practice along the way

and you will never stop or quit the diet and then say, "Now what?"

At that point, you will have so much information about what works and doesn't work for you

that you will never feel like it's such a giant transition into maintenance.

Okay, my friends, I want you to celebrate the small victories.

I want you to learn from setbacks and always, always, always move forward

with compassion and understanding for yourself.

Until next time, take care. Bye.

Thank you for tuning in to the Mindful Balance Podcast today.

I hope you enjoyed our conversation and find inspiration to find your unique balance and confidence.

Remember that the journey continues on Instagram. You can find me @rachelemmanutrition.

That is one word where I share daily nuggets of wisdom to help you reach your goals with ease.

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Until next time, take care and stay mindful. Bye.

Thank you for listening to the Mindful Balance.

The Mindful Balance is brought to you by Rachel Emma Nutrition.

Our editing and mixing engineer is Michael Plawner.

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The information in this podcast does not substitute for medical or psychological advice

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Please consult a qualified health professional regarding health conditions or concerns

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