E205 - Letting Go of Weight Gain Anxiety

Hey and welcome to the Mindful Balance Podcast, your guide to stop emotional eating and overeating

and transform your relationship with food.

I am Rachel, a nutrition and emotional eating coach, and I'm here to help women like you

navigate through the complex world of eating habits, health, mindset, and emotional well-being.

I hope that each episode here will be a step on your journey towards a healthier you by

shedding light on different aspects of nutrition and emotional eating.

I am here to take out the need for quick fixes by showing you how it can be done differently.

Whether you're just starting out or looking to deepen your understanding, you're in the

right place, and if you're ready, let's dive in.

Hey and welcome to today's episode.

If you are here, I believe that you're someone who has been working on improving your relationship

with food and wanting to stop overeating, emotional eating, or binge eating.

All these three categories are when you eat more than your body needs.

Maybe you have been following along here or have tried to work on it in other ways, or

even maybe you are someone who have just considered the option of doing it differently than the

good old, "I'll just start the diet on Monday."

It is likely something that is bothering you.

This thought may be in the front of your mind, something that you are aware of, or it can

be somewhere in the background and maybe the reason why you feel some kind of misalignment.

Either way, it is likely leading to doubt and self-sabotage.

I want to talk about the elephant in the room today as you take these first steps in creating

change.

It is very common for old voices to start telling you at some point, "This is not going

to work," or something like, "Let's just go back to dieting because this is nonsense."

This episode will help you understand that voice, recognize why it kind of like lures

you back to old ways, and teach you how to respond to it with confidence.

If you are used to going from one diet to the next, you're likely feeling like enough

is enough and you're ready to break free from that nonsense.

What do you do when you get to that realization?

Maybe you read some books, or maybe even you follow some programs, or you start this new

chapter in one way or another.

For many of us, this switch can feel like walking, let's say, into a room that you've

never been in before.

It's kind of exciting, but also kind of scary.

So a common feeling is of maybe losing grip or that it's a slippery slope.

You are unsure of what's next, and understandably, you don't feel comfortable.

Change is not something that we love.

To understand the struggle, you first need to look at the psychological effect the diet

culture has on you.

For years, I am sure, including if you right now open Instagram and scroll through, all

we hear is the message that certain foods are good and other foods are bad.

We're also taught that our self-worth is tied to the number on the scale or the size of

our clothes.

And this way of thinking really gets tattooed into our brains and shape our relationship

both with food and with ourselves in ways that are often so harmful, definitely not

helpful.

No one teaches us to do it differently.

There's no education about it.

There's no gray area.

If you want to be good, if you want to be valued, you need to do X and Y, and you need

to eat X and avoid Y.

So when you try to let go of that very black and white thinking, there is the fear of losing

control.

For so long, this false sense of control has been equated with success, with progress.

Now suddenly you had enough, right?

Because you see firsthand that it doesn't work.

So you're trying to introduce foods that were previously, let's say, off limits.

And that can feel like stepping into scary territory.

It is scary because the rules that gave you a sense of security now no longer apply.

So I want to take a step back and talk about the brain and its role in this discomfort.

I can go on about this topic for hours, but for today's discussion, I want you to think

about your brain having a now part and a future part.

The now part is driven by primal instincts.

It seeks immediate gratification and comfort.

Then through familiar patterns like restrictive eating or dieting, this part of your brain

loves, loves things that make you feel good right away.

For example, scrolling social media instead of doing your chores.

And it is not really concerned about what happens tomorrow or later on.

It's all about enjoying things right in this moment.

Then there's the future part of your brain.

This part is like the planner or the responsible friend who cares about what's best for you

down the road.

This part of your brain encourages you to make choices that will be good for you in

the long term.

Like, for example, eating fruits and vegetables to stay healthy or saving some of your income,

let's say for something big that you really want or need later.

When you're thinking about changing your eating habits, like trying new foods or not restricting

certain foods or strictly following certain diets, the now part of your brain might feel

a little bit uneasy because it is used to the old routines.

So it might resist changes.

It prefers the comfort of the familiar black and white thinking.

If I do this, then this.

And as much as it is unhelpful, this part of your brain will prefer something that he

knows and is familiar with.

The future part of your brain, however, understands that these changes can lead you to better

health and happiness, etc. in the long run.

It supports you trying new things and making more balanced choices because it looks at

the big picture.

It recognizes the benefits of being flexible and letting go of diet rules.

It is natural for these two parts to have different opinions, especially when you are

facing changes.

Okay, I took you on this tour of the brain because recognizing this conflict is really

the first step towards navigating the change.

By understanding that these thoughts and fears are a natural part of the process, you can

open the door to a more compassionate conversation.

When you really dive into why you resist change and why, even though you know that not restricting

is a good thing in the long run, what we find deep down a lot of time is fear.

And for many of us who have been struggling with food and our bodies for years, again,

it is really understandable why letting go of old food rules is scary.

What if I allow myself to keep cookies at home?

What if I won't be able to stop?

What if I am unique and this strategy will make everything worse for me?

I am suggesting that you stop restricting and when you hear that, there is a fire alarm

going off in your brain because it senses danger.

And this fear has two parts.

One is usually fear of weight gain and one is the fear that I won't be able to stop,

which is kind of a self-trust problem.

So let's dissect these two fears.

Why not?

We're here anyway, right?

People sometimes get fear wrong.

They think that fear motivates them, but it doesn't really.

Fear freezes you or fuels the fight or flight response.

It's a primitive response that is there to protect you.

When you're scared, you start a chain reaction in your body that prepares you to run or fight.

Your heart rate goes up and it gets the blood pumping so you are ready to go.

When you start fearing, let's say weight gain, you choose the fight.

You want to fight against your craving.

You want to fight against temptations and in general, you just want to eat less food.

But I want to remind you that fighting can only last for so long and it's not a permanent

solution.

And if fighting yourself worked, it would have worked by now.

I really get it.

Nobody wants to gain weight.

You don't want your clothes to be too tight.

You don't want to have to buy new clothes.

You also don't want other people to see the effect of your eating.

Or maybe you're just in general, someone who's not feeling comfortable already and you are

worried that gaining more weight is just going to cause even more physical discomfort.

And you just want to be healthy and you're afraid of the, let's say, the negative health

effects that may come with allowing yourself to eat all foods.

There are so many reasons why you don't want to gain weight.

I understand it and I hear you.

But here's the honest truth.

At first, when you learn to eat in a way that is balanced and honors your hunger, it might

happen.

And so what if it does?

I'm really honestly asking you to consider this.

What if it does?

It's when you think that weight gain is a problem, that it becomes a problem.

Weight gain might be part of the process initially as you work on normal eating and eating just

normal amount of foods during mealtime.

And let's say you're still sometimes eat emotionally or overeat on top of that.

But I want to challenge you to think who wants to live in a fear of weight gain and spending

their entire lives being so obsessed about what they eat all of the time.

I know that for me, it is not something that I want.

I want to be able to live my life the way I want to, knowing that weight gain may happen

at some point in time, right?

There's going to be vacations and holidays and not be afraid of it.

If I choose to eat differently than I normally do.

It will just take all the fun out of eating and then there's really no point.

Weight gain might be part of the process again at the beginning.

And if gaining a little weight is what will result in you not dieting anymore, are you

willing to accept it if it does happen?

And here's the thing about all of it.

You are learning to eat in a way that feels good to you.

Weight gain is only temporary.

You will eventually find a balance that doesn't come from a restricted eating.

And if you're not doing any of the work because of the fear and because of the anxiety of

what if, then I would highly recommend that you first figure out why you're not taking

action to get yourself into a better place.

What is it that scares you?

If you're focusing on your fear of weight gain instead of actually taking actions, then

I want you to hear me out.

You're doing it wrong.

And I will even argue this.

You are already eating all the foods, right?

You have listened to this entire episode.

So I'm going to guess that even though you're not giving yourself permission to eat quote

unquote bad foods, you are still doing it because it is human and it is yummy.

The only difference is you hate yourself for being weak and you're doing it in secret or

only when you say screw it.

So the whole difference with trying food freedom is the intention behind it and giving yourself

radical permission to eat the food that you love.

Living in fear is not fun.

Being afraid of gaining weight isn't fun and it might actually lead to you gaining weight

because you're not doing anything to change the place that you're in right now.

So I want you to let the fear go.

Let your weight be whatever it is as you work on stopping emotional eating and just stop.

It is just what it is right now.

And if you do the work you know you need to do, then it will most likely resolve itself.

I am here to help you do just that if you're having trouble on your own.

Because working with someone that can support you in this transition might be one of the

best investments that you will ever make in yourself.

If you want to talk with me about it and find out how I can help, then check out the show

notes or send me an email at rachel@rachelemanutrition.com.

In the meantime, I want you to stop being scared of food and get to work.

I will talk to you next time.

Bye-bye.

Take care.

Thank you for listening to the Mindful Balance podcast today.

I hope you enjoyed our conversation and found inspiration to find your unique balance and

growth.

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ease.

Until next time, take care.

Bye.

Thank you for listening to the Mindful Balance.

The Mindful Balance is brought to you by Rachel Emma Nutrition.

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