E202 - Mind Over Chips: The Internal Struggle of Emotional Eating

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- Hey, and welcome to the Mindful Balance Podcast,

your guide to stop emotional eating and overeating

and transform your relationship with food.

I am Rachel, a nutrition and emotional eating coach,

and I'm here to help women like you navigate

through the complex world of eating habits,

health, mindset, and emotional wellbeing.

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I hope that each episode here will be a step on your journey

towards a healthier you by shedding light

on different aspects of nutrition and emotional eating.

I am here to take out the overwhelm

or the need for quick fixes

by showing you how it can be done differently.

Whether you are just starting out

or looking to deepen your understanding,

you're in the right place.

And if you're ready, let's dive in.

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Hey, and welcome back to the podcast.

I named today's episode,

the internal struggle of emotional eating,

because we are talking about the time

when one part of you doesn't want to overeat,

doesn't wanna turn to food,

but the other part of you, well,

that one is making a decision to,

yes, absolutely, let's do that, let's eat.

Now, obviously, you wouldn't be here listening to my podcast

if you truly didn't care.

There are people out there, obviously, like that for sure,

but I know that this is not you.

And I also know that one of the most frustrating things

when working towards overcoming the habit of eating

when you're not really hungry

is feeling like there are two different parts of you

and each part wants something that is completely different.

And more often than not,

the part of you that do want to overeat

is the one that's running the show.

To understand this internal conflict,

I wanna give you an example from a totally different area

altogether.

Imagine if you have been saving money for some big goal,

perhaps maybe it's a down payment on a house or a vacation,

and this goal represent the desires and plans

of your executive self.

The part of you that really is thinking about the future

and weighs the benefits of delayed gratification,

and the part of you that really understands

the value of saving towards something meaningful.

Now, imagine that you are scrolling

through your favorite online store

and you see a flash sale for, let's say,

some luxury item that you've wanted,

but you don't necessarily need, right?

We all have those.

A part of you is going to get excited

to try to convince you to grab this deal before it's gone.

This part of you is driven by immediate pleasure,

seeking and the fear of missing out.

And this part is really not thinking too much

about what it will do to your saving goal

or your long-term goal.

This internal tug of war

between the long-term rational desires part of your brain

and the immediate emotional desires

of the other part of your brain happens a lot.

Two parts, both are you,

and it is helpful to understand

that they are both serving some kind of purpose for you.

So I don't want you to think that it is at all

something like the good you and the bad you,

but to simplify it for this purpose,

I will say that one has your long-term rational,

cognitive goals in mind,

and the second one is more primitive,

instinct-driven and survival-focused.

So back to the internal dialogue,

it makes not eating challenging

because either you go back and forth in your head

between I wanna eat and I don't wanna eat,

or the chatter that in your head is so loud,

almost like a crying toddler

in the candy lane in the supermarket,

that you ultimately say, "Just have it, just stop crying.

"Here's the cookie, stop whining."

So let me ask you a question.

If you had to guess, why would you want to overeat?

We're talking about part of you

that actually wants to overeat.

There is an overarching reason,

and that is because you don't want to feel

the way that you do.

You want to feel something different.

Once you feel that urge to eat, right,

that craving that's building up in you,

you wanna make it go away.

You want to quiet that noise in your brain,

and the easiest way to make it go away

is to give into it, to give it what it is asking for.

You eat because you want relief from that craving,

that thought that says, "Eat,"

or, "We need that chocolate," right?

You want out of it, so this is why you're eating.

And that craving for food isn't really about hunger, right?

Because that would make it so easy.

When you're hungry, please go eat.

But that's not what we're talking about here.

This is about knowing very clearly

that I am going to eat for a reason other than hunger.

And usually, you're not just going to eat

one piece of chocolate and be done,

because once you start, or maybe you're even after dinner,

let's say, you will take one bite,

and your brain will be like, "Woo-hoo, this is so good.

"Let's get more."

And this will happen until you finally get that relief

that you were looking for.

Unfortunately, it doesn't end there,

because now you feel guilty.

You weren't thinking about the consequences before,

because how you feel in the moment

was so much more important to you

than how you will feel later.

Same goes with emotional eating.

You're feeling some kind of emotion

that you don't want to feel,

and you want to feel differently.

Let's say you're feeling stressed, frustrated, or overwhelmed

and you want to eat,

because eating will take you away from all of it.

You want to kind of escape out of those feelings.

Interestingly enough, it is also very common

for women to want to eat emotionally when they're happy.

It doesn't always have to do

with negative, kind of like heavy feelings.

In this case of seeking happiness,

it might not be something that you don't want to feel.

You're not trying to run away from this positive emotion,

but you're still looking to feel differently.

You feel happy,

but then you think eating will make you even happier.

You want more intense happiness.

You want more fun.

You want more excitement.

If you're eating when you feel a positive emotion,

it is still you wanting to feel differently,

to feel even better.

That's when so many of us find ourselves overeating,

let's say on birthdays or family celebrations

and holidays or vacations.

We want to magnify that good feeling that we already have,

and we do it in the only way that we know,

and that using food.

So if you think back to the part of you

that does want to overeat and say, just do it,

it makes actually complete sense.

You don't want to feel lonely

or you don't want to feel stress or nervous.

So you eat and it helps you for a few minutes.

It does work.

It numbs that discomfort and the noise

until you wake up from that state.

This explains why I so often hear women say,

I don't know why I do it.

So I'm going to tell you.

You do it because there is a part of you that seeks comfort

and it wants you to feel better.

And because if you don't do it,

you'll be left with feeling the feelings and the cravings,

and that's uncomfortable.

That doesn't feel good.

So here's what you are going to do about it

because you can 100% learn to respond differently

to that dialogue inside of you

and the part of you who's telling you,

just eat the cake, you only live once.

We all have that part of us

that in a way does want to eat.

So the first thing you're going to do

is you're going to start with becoming aware

of the reasons why you want to eat when you're not hungry.

Usually you are gravitating towards salty,

sweet, ultra processed food.

And usually we don't do it with a salad.

So I want you to kind of like create this awareness

and try to figure out why you want to eat

when you're not hungry.

Second step, then I want you to work on naming the feelings

that you are trying to get away from.

What is it?

What is that emotion that is pushing you

towards feeling comfort somewhere else?

And the third step, then I want you to question

whether food will actually give you what you want.

This is so powerful.

Will it really, really give you what you want?

And I know that it can be a yes,

it can be a yes, a relief for a short moment.

You will get that relief, the pleasure, the escape,

but how will you feel in an hour?

How are you going to feel tomorrow?

How about by the end of the weekend?

Eating suits your emotions and numbs them,

but they will usually come back with extra friends,

unwelcome friends,

depending on how you talk to yourself afterwards.

And those are shame, guilt, self-hate, et cetera.

We all know them.

And here's the last thing that you need to know.

When you give in to these cravings

and those let's just eat thoughts,

you're also reinforcing them.

You're teaching your brain to keep on sending them

because it works.

And I talked about it in last week's episode,

but the best way to break this habit

and the way that you think is also habitual,

you need to have a plan.

And I'll even say that you need a really good

and compelling plan for when it shows up,

for when you hear those thoughts

that are telling you to eat or keep eating.

When your brain starts sending thoughts

and the reasons why you should eat or why you wanna eat,

you have to have a very enticing reason to counter them.

Why is it important that you stop overeating?

What is your long-term goal?

I want you to write it down and make it as specific

as true and visual as possible.

I want you to really feel it in every part of you.

Why do you wanna stop this habit?

As we wrap up today's episode about desires and decisions,

I want to leave you with a gentle reminder and some hope.

Understanding the dialogue between the different parts

in you is such a giant step towards acceptance and growth.

They are both part of you

and they're both serving a purpose.

The goal isn't to silence one voice in favor of the other,

but to really align your actions with your true goal.

When you feel this like tug of an emotional craving,

I want you to pause and ask yourself,

what am I really needing in this moment?

Because by identifying your true needs,

you can find healthier and more helpful ways to meet them.

My hope is that this episode has not only provided you

with insights into your own behavior,

but also empower you with the tools

to approach these behaviors with kindness and curiosity.

All right, until next time, take care, bye-bye.

Thank you for listening

to the Mindful Balance podcast today.

I hope you enjoyed our conversation

and found inspiration to find your unique balance

and growth.

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and feel inspired to make a change,

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Until next time, take care, bye.

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The Mindful Balance is brought to you

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and is intended for educational purposes only.

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