E17 - Eating When Life Gets Tough

Welcome to the Mindful Balance Mini Podcast.

If you are a woman over 40 ready to break free from fad diets and discover the power

of balance and confidence in your life, then this podcast is for you, and I am so happy

that you are here.

I'm your host, I'm Rachel, a nutrition and mindset coach, and I'm going to break down

everything you need to know into bite-sized pieces of sustainable and realistic tips.

I want to invite you to join me as we explore practical strategies to stop overeating, nourish

your body, and use the potential of your amazing brain to achieve your goals.

If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode

filled with insights on nutrition, mindset, and building healthy habits.

Hey there, welcome back to the podcast.

I want today to untangle the topic of emotional eating, but specifically I want to talk about

when life feels objectively hard.

I'm talking about things like navigating maybe life transitions or change in relationship,

maybe if you experience loss or work-related challenges, grief, etc.

And I want to help you understand why during turbulent times like this, it feels almost

like our hands, somehow, unconsciously, go into the cookie jar, or why a pint of ice

cream suddenly can feel like it is the best solution to all our problems.

I have been there in the past few weeks when it feels like life is kind of crazy.

It doesn't make sense so much, and just to kind of share with you a little bit, in the

past few weeks, I have felt all sorts of very uncomfortable emotions like fear and grief,

shock, frustration, anger, and so on.

And I know that almost anyone listening has experienced this at some point in life, and

will likely experience that again at some point.

So I really wanted to take the time and talk about emotional eating during challenging

times.

This is what we're talking about today.

Okay, let's get to it.

Negative emotions are part of the human experience.

And we have to start from a place of acceptance that life will throw some tough balls at us.

It's going to happen.

But at the same time, you can 100% find pathways to a healthier relationship with food and

with yourself, even during times like that.

In order to explain and kind of work through this part, I want to start by talking about

babies for a second.

And I promise to make it all make sense.

When babies are just born, they cry at night, they cry for feeding, they cry in evolutionary

call for nourishment.

It's their way of communicating a very basic need.

In response to the baby crying, a parent will offer milk, which calms the baby and feels

that need for food.

Over time, the baby learns this pattern.

When I cry, I receive comfort in the form of milk.

This is normal.

And this is how we're wired to survive.

However, after a few months, let's say the baby's six months old, an interesting shift

occurs.

And this is really interesting.

The baby might sometimes cry, not out of hunger, but maybe just because it feels lonely, or

it feels some kind of discomfort, or simply because the baby wants that familiar warmth

that comes with feeding.

Yet, the conditioned response remains the same.

The baby cries, we offer milk.

The initial reaction of feeding the baby to satisfy that hunger slowly becomes, let's

call it a blanket solution to a variety of emotional needs.

So we are that baby.

Our primitive form identified food as a direct solution to a real need, which is hunger.

Yet, as we grow, our emotional spectrum kind of gets wider.

And our brain, like the well-meaning parent, continued to offer the same solution, which

is food.

Even when the emotional needs were for something completely different, like love, comfort,

relief from stress.

It becomes a conditioned response, a pattern that we're just following, even when it is

no longer in service of our best interest.

So far, I think nothing that I've mentioned is something that you haven't heard before,

I assume.

So let's talk about the human brain for a few minutes, just to kind of put it into context.

But just a quick word on terminology.

When we discuss the human brain, there are two major parts that we need to understand,

because I am going to refer to them as we continue on.

I refer to the two parts as the higher brain and the lower brain.

It isn't super important how you refer to it, as long as you understand that there are

two parts, and there are two parts of being a human being.

If you are, for example, a spiritual woman, you may choose to call the two parts something

different, maybe flesh versus spirit.

Others often call it the toddler brain versus the adult brain, or the lizard brain versus

the neocortex.

Whichever distinction resonates with you, this isn't about labeling one part of our

brain as good, and the other one as bad, but instead understanding that there are different

roles to different parts of our brain, and how we balance between the two parts.

The higher brain is basically our CEO.

This is where our dreams, aspiration, our rational decisions all exist.

This is also where complex thinking, planning, reflection, all that higher thinking, this

is where it's happening in our higher brain.

On the other hand, the lower brain is referring to our instinctual primitive side of our brain.

It's this ancient, reactive, and a part of our brain that is driven by basic survival

instinct.

It's impulsive, and it really only cares about keeping you alive.

Generally, our brains operate on a primal level, when their primary objective is to

seek pleasure and avoid pain.

It's this survival mechanism.

When our ancestors felt stress, their brains prompted them to eat, because in the wild,

stress often meant danger.

Eating was a way to prepare for whatever danger was coming their way.

Now, you might think we aren't running from tigers anymore, and you're absolutely right,

yet our brains still carry forward these ancient instinct.

Every time we feel an emotional distress, a part of our brain remembers that ancient

call, which is seek comfort, find food.

So I want you to remember that the most basic tendency of our brain is to always seek pleasure

and avoiding pain.

When we find ourselves at the crossroads of emotions and eating, it's important to understand

that this intersection is not a new development in the human experience.

Again, our ancestors relied on their ability to respond to hunger cues with urgency.

This necessity for survival in a world where food was scarce and the environment was unpredictable.

And I want you to understand this because there is a strong connection between a discomfort

and uncomfortable emotions and our tendency to turn to food.

But there is another piece to that, that isn't really evolution related, and that is society,

and we need to talk about that as well.

From the moment we're born, and I think most of us know that, we are very fortunate to

live in a culture where food is more than just a substance.

It's linked to celebrations and consolation and companionship.

Think about family gatherings, for example, and how often they center around meals.

And that is definitely something that fills more than just our stomachs.

And that's okay.

That is just part of being part of a tribe.

If we take a step back for a second, if you lived in a cave, getting food meant that someone

had to hunt or gather it.

Each bite was something that was really precious and the effort to obtain it was seriously

challenging when food was available.

Our ancient cells were hardwired to consume as much as possible to store energy for when

lean times like winter come ahead.

Now fast forward to today, and we see how this ancient wiring plays out in a world where

food is not only abundant, but also hyper palatable and often all around us.

When you understand that, can we truly blame ourselves for responding to this evolutionary

echo?

There's really nothing to be judgmental about.

It is what it is.

And we just need to be honest with the way that our environment affects our eating habits,

and even more so in times of challenge.

So now back to emotional eating in times of uncomfortable emotions or circumstances, which

is what we experience when certain parts of life feels complicated or straight out hard.

There is an approach to the journey of healing emotional eating, which is the belief that

to free ourselves from this pattern, we must solve every emotional piece of our life.

If you ever tried, for example, therapy or traditional therapy in order to solve emotional

eating, there is really that underlying belief that we have to solve all the problems and

all the circumstances in order to change the way we respond to food when we experience

those uncomfortable emotions.

If this is something that you can relate to, this is what I want you to hear.

And it may not be a popular opinion, I know that, but breaking the cycle of emotional

eating doesn't require this archaeological dig through every past pain and every past

trauma.

And I'll explain why.

Every time we experience an urge to eat in response to stress or sadness or any other

range of negative emotions, we are basically standing at a fork in the road.

One path, and I want you to kind of like visualize it with me, one path is the automatic reaction

to follow the urge.

The one path is I feel this uncomfortable emotion, I am going to respond by eating because

I have this urge to eat.

The other path is the recognition that while the urge is very real, it as real as actually

feeling it physically in our senses.

The choice though, to follow it is still ours.

You can separate and this is what I really, really want you to understand and hopefully

believe.

You can separate the feeling from the action.

An emotional wave, no matter how big it feels, doesn't and cannot make you drown in food.

This is where the habit of responding a certain way to discomfort is so powerful.

But it also is the reason that is quite simple to change how you respond to negative emotions

without solving the issue.

Let me say it again, maybe in different words.

There is a habit that you are probably experiencing right now of responding a certain way to negative

emotion or negative thought.

And that habitual respond is so powerful that it almost really feel like we have no choice

here.

However, if you learn how to change the habit, it also means that you don't have to solve

all the circumstances and all the problems that you are experiencing right now in various

parts of your life.

And I think that this is so refreshing and so powerful.

And I get it that habits, especially ones that we practice over and over and over again,

they really feel unchangeable.

But emotional eating is just a habit of many other habits.

There is no exception.

And those habits can be changed.

Now I want you to envision your higher brain.

It knows that it doesn't have to flow in the same direction forever.

When you have an urge to eat, because let's say you had a hard day or a hard week or even

a hard month, right?

This part of you acknowledges its presence, maybe even understand its origin, but it doesn't

pick up the bag of cookies.

And your higher brain has the ability to act differently.

And the more you do it, the less pushback you get from your lower brain, which at first,

of course, and it's completely reasonable that it will sound like, what are you doing,

lady?

Like, I am used to every time I don't feel good to reach for the food.

So I want to invite you to really ask yourself, how would it feel to know that in fact, you

don't need to solve all the problems or that you have a problem, right?

A lot of us tend to feel that we have an a problem or that we have this disease or that

we're broken.

And instead, I want you to envision taking back that power and autonomy without any drama.

Like, no, we're just not doing this again.

If there is one thing that I hope you take away from this episode is I want you to hear

this.

Emotional eating is a habit.

It's not a helpful habit, obviously, but it's one that we've learned and we can also unlearn

even without going through years of therapy.

I want you to remember that every step that you take is a win.

You showed up for yourself by being here today.

And that says a lot about you.

All right, until next time, take care.

Bye bye.

Thank you for tuning in to the Mindful Balance Podcast today.

I hope you enjoyed our conversation and find inspiration to find your unique balance and

confidence.

Remember that the journey continues on Instagram.

You can find me at Rachel Emma Nutrition.

That is one word where I share daily nuggets of wisdom to help you reach your goals with

ease.

If you loved today's episode, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave us a

review.

Your feedback fuels our mission to empower more women on their mindful balance journey.

Until next time, take care and stay mindful.

Bye.

Thank you for listening to the Mindful Balance.

The Mindful Balance is brought to you by Rachel Emma Nutrition.

Our editing and mixing engineer is Michael Plawner.

Our theme song is Good Feelings by Bo Deleasance.

The information in this podcast does not substitute for medical or psychological advice and is

intended for educational purposes only.

Please consult a qualified health professional regarding health conditions or concerns before

starting a new diet or health program.

Rachel Emma Nutrition LLC and the accompanying websites and social media platforms are not

responsible for adverse reactions, effects, or consequences resulting from the use of

any suggestions herein or procedures undertaken hereafter.

you

You