E15 - The Road to Nowhere - What Doesn't Help Emotional Eating

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Hey everyone and welcome back. This is episode 15 on the podcast and I am finally ready to

tackle the big topic of emotional eating. I've been reading Kathryn Henson's book, it's

called Brain Over Binge and I really loved it. It has some really compelling ideas on

why some of the most popular approaches to tackling emotional eating may not work for

everyone. I feel like we all have been given this generic roadmap to navigate this very

personal journey. So today I want to ask some tough questions and see if we can't maybe

sketch out a new map that better suits our individual paths.

Before we start, one of the most transformational shifts for me when I was going through this

journey was hearing that even if someone is in the habit of eating emotionally, meaning

using food as a coping tool to manage usually uncomfortable emotions, but not just uncomfortable

emotions, it doesn't turn them into an emotional eater. And I'll say this again, even if you

are right now someone who eats out of response to your emotions, you are not an emotional

eater. And I'll explain that. This is a significant point to notice. The difference is between

being stuck in, let's call it, unhelpful pattern of behavior and letting this behavior define

your identity. This may sound to you like a minor change in wording, so I really want

to explain this. When you say that you eat emotionally, you are acknowledging a temporary

state, meaning there is room to change the narrative or change the situation that you

are not finding helpful right now. On the other hand, identifying yourself as an emotional

eater tends to kind of solidify this behavior, making it feel like something that is unchangeable,

part of who you are, essentially removing your ability to become someone else, someone

different. And let's sit with that for just another moment because language, our words,

shape our reality. When we give ourselves the space to change, it's like we're saying,

let's rework this. So as we break down today's topic, I invite you to bring this more flexible

mindset along with you. Keep your mental toolbox open because this is about growing in a direction

that feels aligned. Now, when it comes to emotional eating, there are many, many approaches

and it can be super overwhelming trying to sort through them, which is why today I am

going to talk about it and I'm going to talk about what I don't believe is helpful. Maybe

unhelpful is a strong word, but what I mean is that it may not give you the results that

you expect and I will go into the why as I mention each approach. So the first one and

the most obvious one is food restriction and dieting. This is an approach where you control

the types or the amounts of food that you eat, all in the hope of stopping binge or

overeating episodes. Restricting food can be really counterproductive and I feel like

most of you probably have already realized it, but I do want to mention the why. And

the reason for that is because the act of restriction can trigger a sense of deprivation.

This feeling of lack can really actually increase urges, creating the exact opposite response

to what you're trying to achieve. Because often, as soon as you decide to start a diet,

your brain may start to fixate on what it can't have, really kind of magnifying the

desire for those forbidden quote unquote foods. The term for this is scarcity mindset. Now,

stress on your body emotionally, physically activates biological and psychological responses.

Biologically stress triggers the release of hormones like cortisol, which among other

things can stimulate the feeling of being hungry. Psychologically, the feeling of scarcity

can lead to more thinking about food. So when you finally give in this way of thinking,

I'll eat it all now because I can't have it all later, is really kicking in. So I know

that you feel that in order to solve emotional eating, you may need to go on a diet, but

I want you to know that instead of water, you are throwing gasoline on the fire that

you are trying to take out. The second strategy that I don't find to be necessarily super

helpful is using emotion focused strategies. Now, unlike dieting, this strategy isn't actually

harmful. So it's important that you know that they are not on the same scale. Dieting and

emotion focused strategies are not equal, and they're not at the same level of their

unhelpfulness, let's call it. In general, these strategies certainly have lots of value.

You can learn a lot about how your thoughts and feelings lead to taking or not taking

certain actions when it comes to eating. Emotion focused strategies are techniques that are

designed to help you resolve emotional issues under the assumptions that sorting through

your feelings will automatically put an end to emotional eating. It sounds logical. If

emotional eating is driven by emotions, then it sounds like resolving emotional storms

or the emotions that you are managing should theoretically resolve the issue of emotional

eating. But here's where the approach often misses the mark. Emotional eating is not always

rooted primarily in emotional issues. While emotions might act as triggers to some of

the behaviors of eating, the act of eating often evolves into a habit loop that is neurologically

wired. It becomes this automatic response to specific cues and triggers, much like how,

let's say, driving becomes automatic over time. So you could be in the best emotional

state and still find yourself engaging in emotional eating simply because the neural

pathways in your brain that support this habit are deeply tattooed almost on your brain.

But here's another thing that I want you to consider. Emotions are just a natural part

of the human experience and trying to eliminate or fix some of these emotions is not only

unrealistic but it can also create a different kind of stress and we don't need more stress.

So even if you could manage your emotional, let's say, landscape perfectly, which again,

let's face it, it's not attainable, you might still face the habit loop of emotional eating.

And again, while emotional-focused strategies have their value in addressing emotional well-being,

their efficacy in tackling emotional eating can be limited. They often overlook the habit

loops that make emotional eating so persistent. Another one is positive affirmations and self-love.

These are generally designed to kind of boost self-esteem and remove self-doubt and create

generally a more positive mental space. I personally love affirmations and I use them

often so while these are important factors to our overall mental well-being, they may

not address the underlying habit loops formed in the brain that lead to overeating and emotional

eating. In simple terms, this repetitive nature of emotional eating often creates the neural

pathways that operate on sort of autopilot. Positive affirmations alone just aren't enough

to rewire these neural patterns. In other words, while positive affirmations and self-love

have their place for sure in a holistic wellness strategy, relying on them alone may not provide

this comprehensive solution that is so often needed to effectively tackle binge eating,

emotional eating and overeating in general. Now, it is totally valid to question, so if

all these aren't working, then what? And I want to offer to view emotional eating as

a neurological habit rather than as a complex psychological issue requiring deep emotional

work. My experience is that it can be a lot, a lot simpler. It requires becoming aware

of the urge to eat, right? This urge that you feel a certain way or when you experience

certain emotions, you become aware of it as it rises and still choose not to act on it.

By repeatedly not following the urge, the habit loop in the brain is disrupted and over

time the urges just sound less and less demanding. Most of us have been struggling with emotional

eating, thinking that they need to dig deep into their emotions or their past experiences

or traumas to find this cure for their eating behavior. So I want to offer an alternative

of focusing on a much more straightforward practice of observing the urge to eat without

judgment and choosing a different action or different actions that are aligned with your

goals. As we wrap up today's episode, I want to acknowledge again that the journey towards

breaking free from emotional eating is deeply, deeply personal and complex and what may help

one woman may not be the right solution for you and vice versa. From working with many

women on this, it's really evident and clear that there isn't a one size fits all solution.

We have dissected various strategies today and most, but not all of them have lots of

value in general and specifically for our general well-being. I want you to consider

the importance of not just treating the symptoms, but really understanding the patterns and

the mechanism that drive your behavior. Emotional eating really, truly isn't about the food

or even about the emotions. It's often about deeply ingrained habits that are so human.

They're so common and they're so normal. The good news, as always, is that habits, as we

know, can be both created and broken. So if you've tried one or more of the methods that

I mentioned today and found them maybe lacking, I want you to not be afraid and not be hard

on yourself. It doesn't mean that you're doomed to a life of emotional eating. It only means

that you haven't found a way out yet and that is so, so okay.

Thank you so much for joining me today. If you found this episode helpful, please consider

sharing it with someone who might benefit from it. And if you have any questions or

topics that you would like me to cover in future episodes, then please feel free to

reach out. I think you know where to find me. All right, until next time, take good

care of yourself. Bye.

Thank you for tuning in to the Mindful Balance podcast today. I hope you enjoyed our conversation

and find inspiration to find your unique balance and confidence. Remember that the journey

continues on Instagram. You can find me at Rachel Emma Nutrition. That is one word where

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time, take care and stay mindful. Bye.

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