E04 - The Power of Asking for Help

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Welcome to the Mindful Balance Mini Podcast.

If you are a woman over 40,

ready to break free from fad diets

and discover the power of balance and confidence

in your life, then this podcast is for you

and I am so happy that you are here.

I'm your host, I'm Rachel, a nutrition and mindset coach

and I'm going to break down everything you need to know

into bite-sized pieces of sustainable and realistic tips.

I wanna invite you to join me

as we explore practical strategies to stop overeating,

nourish your body, and use the potential

of your amazing brain to achieve your goals.

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Hey there, welcome back.

So I thought about starting this episode

and maybe it will become something that I do

every few episode or so,

just to give you a quick life update.

First, because I love having an image in my head

as I listen to podcasts or audio books,

did you know that I record my podcasts in my pantry?

It is the only area in our home

that doesn't have the AC blowing sound,

so that became my pretend recording studio.

It is also the end of July

when I'm recording this episode,

which means that we are smack in the middle of summer break,

both for my kids and for me.

And there are many moving pieces

with kids coming back from camp and summer program,

and others are getting ready already

to start a new school year in college.

And generally it is often very hard

to keep track of where everyone is at all time.

It is very different from when they were all little

and in bed by 9 p.m.

But I really do appreciate this phase

and how dynamic life is right now

being a parent of older kids.

So that's where we are at right now.

And if you ever feel like sharing something about yourself

because I hope that you also find this place

safe and intimate,

then I would definitely love to hear from you.

And you can send me a message on Instagram

at Rachel Emma Nutrition,

or use the notes of this episode to email me.

All right, moving on.

I want to start today's episode with a story.

My youngest son is now 11,

and being the youngest of four,

he always wanted to do everything

just like his older brothers and sisters.

It's like this kid wanted to skip being a baby

or even a toddler and was practicing being a teenager

at the age of three, including, by the way,

wanting braces before he even had all his permanent teeth,

but that's a story for another time.

So I remember when he wanted to learn

to tie his shoelaces for the first time.

It was a struggle.

He was sitting on the stairs at the front of the house

and he was fighting with the laces on his tiny sneakers.

His small fingers were trying to remember

this whole bunny ear loop and over and under move,

but it was not working.

Fast forward a few minutes later,

he walked over with a very serious look on his face.

he held up the shoe to me and he said,

"It's not working."

Probably in a much cuter voice,

but to make again a long story short,

I pulled a video on YouTube and he watched it a few times.

And sure enough, he was master of the art of shoelacing.

And I remember this story because the way he was asking

for it had no apprehension or fear involved.

It was so simple, straightforward request for help.

Mom, I don't know how to do it, please show me how.

But somehow along the line, as we grow older,

asking for help starts to feel a little different.

It becomes much harder.

And I know that for me, asking for help

often feels like admitting some kind of failure

or admitting that I am less than perfect.

and that can be pretty uncomfortable.

So in this episode, we will dive into why asking for help

is so hard, especially when it comes to our bodies.

And then I will share with you a few signs

to help you identify when is the right time

to reach out for help.

So I'm going to take a sip of water

and let's talk about that.

So for many of us, that discomfort of asking for help

might even be worse when we're talking about eating food, health, or our bodies.

Maybe it is because we feel that eating is such a fundamental skill that we don't want to admit

that this is hard. For others, maybe it is the social expectations and the pressures

that are placed on us as women from very early on. We are surrounded by messages about how we should

look, what we should or shouldn't eat, and how our bodies should be. Maybe for others it is the fear

of judgment or criticism. If they admit that they are struggling, they might worry that they'll be

seen as weak or lack discipline, especially if they have it together in other parts of

life.

That can be a very heavy burden to carry.

But I think that one of the biggest things that scare us is the fear of failure.

What if we go ahead and ask for help and then it doesn't work?

What if we try to make changes and fall back into our old habits?

This fear can make it seem almost safer to stay in this cycle of overeating rather than

taking the risk of potentially disappointing others or ourselves.

And as long as we don't ask for help, we get to pretty much look the other way and not

hold ourselves accountable.

But here's another thing that I want you to consider.

say that you are able to identify and have awareness around needing someone to get you started.

All those heavy feelings and the discomfort that show up in not being in a good place with

our bodies or with food, guess what it is likely to happen when you start feeling that discomfort?

If food is the only tool you have to manage that discomfort, I am going to guess that you will find

yourself right in the hands of the habit of eating. Because it's so easy, and I know that

from my own experience, to fall into that trap of using food to mask our discomfort and our

insecurities and then yeah, we end up in this repetitive escalating cycle that feels very,

very hopeless. So if you can relate to that, there is one thing that I want you to hear.

So here it is. These fears are valid. The discomfort is real and there is strength

in the vulnerability, in acknowledging that you are struggling. It's okay to ask for help from

a friend or your partner, your family, a coach. It's okay to say, "I can't do this alone." And

most importantly, it doesn't make you weak. Okay, so now I want to answer the question of how to

recognize when it's time to ask for help. And like many other things, it is a very personal process.

However, there are some common signs that can indicate that you might be ready to reach out

to someone saying that you are ready to make a change. First sign, you are feeling overwhelmed

simply by the thought of making changes alone. I'm going to say it again. Just the thought of doing

it or starting a journey feels super overwhelming. You know that something needs to change, but you

don't know where to start. Another way this may show up is that you've tried what feels like

everything. But nothing seems to be working. You've dieted, you exercised, and you tried probably

cutting out certain foods. But you are not seeing the results that you had hoped for. It's like

you're fighting an uphill battle and it's becoming more and more exhausting. Another sign is if you

feel that the cost of not taking action is becoming more and more noticeable in your day-to-day.

And you may even feel that it is impacting your mental health, your self-esteem, and just overall

your life experiences. Perhaps you are waking up every morning with guilt or you are avoiding

social situations that are involving food. Maybe you are feeling increasingly disconnected from

your body and it's affecting how you show up for yourself and for other people in your life.

When we don't feel good, it is very hard to give to others, whether it is work or your family or

even the person in line at the grocery store. I know that when I don't feel good, I do not have

anything to give to others, and likely I am not the nicest person to be around.

Or it could be that you're feeling increasingly isolated and lonely. Likely pretending that

everything is fine. When people ask you, it looks fine from the outside, but not so much from the

inside and this kind of emotional isolation can be incredibly draining.

And I want to pause for a second and say that I know that it is hard to hear this.

My point is that you don't have to walk this walk alone and there are so many people around

you that would love to be there for you if you allow them.

And even though the topic of eating and overeating and just our health and weight and everything

around it is so full of shame in our culture, unless you are of course an influencer that

look like you know you have it all together.

Let me tell you most of them don't have it all together.

I want to invite you to tell someone this is what's going on with me.

like you would with any other struggle in your life.

You might ask right now, how do I do it?

How do I ask for help?

Because it does feel like a very hard task to overcome.

So let me tell you.

The first step is finding someone that you trust.

This could be, again, a friend, it can be a family member,

it can be a healthcare provider or a therapist.

You start by simply saying, "I am ready to work on my habits," or "I am ready to eat

better," or "I am ready to work on my goals, and I want you to be my accountability buddy."

That's all you have to say.

You don't need to have all the answers or even fully understand how to move forward.

You just need to express to someone else that you are ready for change, that you are ready

to receive support by reminding yourself, "I matter.

My health matter.

I am worth taking care of."

And when you say that, it's like, you know what it's like?

It's like the light turned on in a room because you will be amazed by all the support that

is waiting for you out there. I know that this episode may have been a little heavier topic today,

but hey, growth doesn't happen in our comfort zone and if even one of you needs to hear this reminder,

then I did my thing. So here's to you and to your journey towards healthier, happier you.

I am Rachel and until next time, take care. Bye.

Thank you for tuning in to the Mindful Balance Podcast today. I hope you enjoyed our conversation

and find inspiration to find your unique balance and confidence. Remember that the journey

continues on Instagram. You can find me @rachelemmanutrition. That is one word where I share daily nuggets

of wisdom to help you reach your goals with ease. If you loved today's episode, don't

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave us a review.

Your feedback fuels our mission to empower more women on their mindful balance journey.

Until next time, take care and stay mindful.

Bye.

Thank you for listening to The Mindful Balance.

The Mindful Balance is brought to you by Rachel Emma Nutrition.

Our editing and mixing engineer is Michael Plawner.

Our theme song is Good Feelings by Bo Gleason.

The information in this podcast does not substitute for medical or psychological advice and is

intended for educational purposes only. Please consult a qualified health

professional regarding health conditions or concerns before starting a new diet

or health program. Rachel Emma Nutrition LLC and accompanying websites and social

media platforms are not responsible for adverse reactions, effects, or

consequences resulting from the use of any suggestions herein or procedures

undertaken hereafter.

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